So I was driving along with my best friend in the passenger seat next to me. Suddenly the car in front of me skidded on ice and I had to emergency brake. Before I knew it my hand was across my friend to stop her from flying forwards She looked at me and told me she couldn’t believe that my first thought would be to save her. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that, as a pizza delivery driver, I have developed a reflex action to stop the pizzas flying off the seat whenever I emergency brake.

(Source: laughingisbetter, via alibuttons)

snoozlebee:

dekutree:

acceptable pet names:

• babe
• baby
• sweetie
• cutie pie
• darling
• honey

unacceptable pet names:

• boo boo sweetie oojy woojy poogy poo
• cthulu 
• sweet devil prince in the pale moon light
• Leslie
• floor
• 2% milk
• Ella Fitzgerald

i think you have these mixed up

(via alibuttons)